Saturday, January 2, 2016

The Bright Side of Colonoscopy

   Recently I was required  to have a colonoscopy.  I was referred to two doctors both of whom I turned down.  The first one insisted that I do two days of prep which I can’t do because I go to dialysis every other day.  He said it’s because I'm diabetic, which I am not.  If that doctor thought all dialysis patients are diabetic what else could he get wrong at my expense?  The other doctor only do colonoscopy on my dialysis days.  I decided that even if it cost me the transplant disqualification, I was not doing it with those two.

   The third colonoscopy doctor I was referred to, Dr. Stefan Chin, was more accommodating.  He agreed to do it on a Monday morning, and during the holiday season at that.  The prep instructions he handed me were clear and easy, unlike the other two whose orders were tough and inflexible.

   The prep packet said the Moviprep could make me feel nauseated so I braced myself for 2 liters of bad tasting medicine.  It turned out to taste like mild lemon juice.  I expected the prep to give me stomach pains but there was absolutely no pain, just a lot of time in the toilet.  So I took my phone with me and played my games.

   The instructions handed me said I could only have clear drinks like any colorless soda, no food except gelatin and broth.  So I made gelatin and my favorite ‘nilaga’ beef broth from scratch.  For a dialysis patient who has endured fluid restrictions for five years, unlimited broth and soda is actually a treat.  To get my mind off the prep I binge watched my favorite Amazon Prime TV show, Justified.

   On the day of the procedure, Dr. Stefan Chin and all his staff (all Filipinos) made me comfortable.  I woke up from it like nothing happened.  So where’s the colonoscopy everyone said was horrible?  Maybe it depends on which doctor you’ve got.

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