Monday, March 30, 2015

The Steel Ladle (Sandok)

   There is a power struggle that subsists in a marriage which resembles a political struggle.  It has been said that economic power means political power.  Is it possible for a spouse to control or abuse the partner who has more money?  Not if they have a pre-nup.  

   What about physical strength?  Prize fighters are matched within the same weight range to make the fight fair.  Married couples rarely fall within the same weight range.  That means someone could get beat up.  

   When Charles got addicted to meth and became verbally abusive his Filipina wife, Elena knew physical abuse was right around the corner.  How would she defend herself if he got physical?  He was 5’11 and she was 5’1.  He was slim but she was frail.  She had no martial arts or any kind of self-defense training but then he didn’t either.  She had one advantage over him.  She was smart and he could hardly read.  She went to college while he’s got an elementary education and a GED.   

   She had read that she must know her enemy and know herself, that the best defense is a good offense*, and keep the element of surprise in her favor.  Elena researched on the internet about the effects of the drugs Charles has been using.  She found out that it made him paranoid.  As her offense, she told him stories of life in the third world, about the Filipinas who fought wars or against the government.  She told him how she could dismantle a caliber 45 handgun and reassemble it in one minute in a game she used to play with friends.  

   Elena could not figure out how the element of surprise can work for her.  Then one day while she was washing dishes and Charles was standing next to her by the sink, the stainless steel ladle she was rinsing broke in the middle like it was a wooden stick.  Her first thought was that he would get mad at her for breaking the ladle.  She looked up at him and was surprised at the expression on his face.  It was not anger.  It was shock and fear.  She looked back at the two broken pieces of the ladle in her hands.  She realized the impossibility of breaking stainless steel with bare hands.  Although Elena herself could not understand how she could have done it, she continued with her chores as if nothing unreal happened.  

   When she was not home Charles tried to break another steel ladle with his own hands.  He couldn’t do it.  Seeing her break steel with her little hands scared him from trying any physical abuse.  

   The Filipina can’t be underestimated.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Imperfect Genes

   Human imperfection handed down from Adam and Eve prevents a mother from loving her children equally in the same way.  She might be able to love them in the same way but not in the exact same measure.  This is why some children hate their mothers long after they have become parents themselves and are doing worse than the mothers they have judged.

   The genes that gave the children artistic talent or academic excellence or physical prowess that makes the parents proud could include the father’s passive aggressiveness or the mother’s ADHD or both.  This could produce a workaholic man who can’t appreciate his wife’s or his parent’s contributions while in the same breath blames everyone for his humdrum life. 

   “Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.”  Some funny signs of this disorder are:

The freezer is compartmentalized;
Bed is always made;
Turns off light when exiting a room while computing kilowatt saved based on light bulb specs;
Checks the floor for shine at every walk over;
Sends messages with no wrong spelling, no wrong grammar and no wrong emoticon.

   "Paranoid-type schizophrenia is characterized by delusions that is often about being persecuted or treated unfairly. People with paranoid-type schizophrenia can exhibit anger and aloofness."  An offspring of a sociopath father and a paranoid schizophrenic mother could be simply called self-centered, insecure and emotionally cold family man.  

   All medical labels put aside, these children are simply called “chip off the old block”.
   "You must keep his regulations and his commandments that I am commanding you today, in order that it may go well with you and your sons after you" (Deuteronomy 4:40)

See also: 
War of the Santos’
Suicidal Without Depression

Monday, March 2, 2015


   Charlie woke up late.  It was Sunday.  He works for an IT startup company in California.  As his usual, he turned the television on while making his coffee.  A Spanish soap series came on.  Typically his television turns on at whatever channel it was turned off.  He never watched the Spanish network.  It doesn’t matter.  There could be a glitch in his cable.  He flipped the channels to all numbers and back but could not find an English show to watch.  CNN, NBC,  all are broadcasting in Spanish.

   He decided to call his girlfriend.  She might know what’s going on.  A girl answered in Spanish.  He must have dialed the wrong number.  He tried again.  He got the same girl.  This time he asked for Hazel.  The girl said in Spanish her name is Hazel.  He hang up.

   He dialed his mother’s number.  He recognized her voice but she was speaking in Spanish.  He thought she’s probably taking language lessons.  

   “Mom can you speak English for just one minute.” Charlie said.

   “No comprendo” was the answer. 

   He thought she must be teasing him.  He hung up.

   He walked out to have breakfast at McDonald’s, a block away.  The guy at the counter asked for his order in Spanish.  He must have been mistaken for a Latino.  He explained that he speaks English only.  The man answered “No comprendo” so he asked if anyone else can take his order in English.  “Nada.” (None)  He walked out so frustrated.

   On the road back home he ran into some Chinese neighbors.  He gave the customary hello.  When they replied “Hola” Charlie stood rooted on the spot.  He realized every person who passed him were Asians but they all spoke in Spanish.  He ran back to his house with rising terror and confusion.  He turned on the television again and still could not find an English program.  Next he called every name in his mobile phone’s contact list.  No one answered in English.  By now he was frightened to the point of losing it.  Then he felt someone touch his shoulder.  It was Hazel.

   “Honey I’ve been calling you on the phone.  You’ve been asleep all this time?” Hazel said.

   “I had a bad dream.” Charlie said still feeling disoriented.  Is he awake now?  Or this one is the dream.

      Language is something we learned as infants so we take it for granted as adults.  If you believe in the evolution theory just ask yourself who taught the monkey to speak.  If you believe God created the universe then who taught Adam and Eve.  Language is a gift from a loving God who thinks of everything that would make us happy.  Just imagine a life without conversation.  Even the deaf and mute can’t live without it.  

   “Now all the earth continued to be of one language and of one set of words… Then they said to one another… “Come! Let us build …a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a celebrated name for ourselves ... Jehovah then said: “Look! They are one people with one language, and this is what they have started to do… go down there and confuse their language in order that they may not understand one another” (Genesis 11:1-8)