Monday, July 28, 2014

Internet Marriage Manual

   He tried so hard to get you to marry him.  He traveled across the world to meet you, with gifts and treats for your entire family. He waited, years even, while your visa is processed, paid all the fees, and the whole time making you dizzy with money, gifts, Hallmark cards and long distance calls.  Then you finally arrive in the US and have that wedding and honeymoon you’ve been dreaming of.  And you tell yourself he loves you so much to go through all that for you.  You feel like Cinderella grateful to her prince. 

   Then as soon as the honeymoon is over:

He forbids you to eat your country’s food.  He says you smell because of the food you eat, or it makes you fat or it cost too much, etc.

On the other hand: 

If he wanted someone who eats only American food he should have married an American?
He shows no respect, calls you names in front of his family and friends.
You wouldn’t do that to him even if you lived in your country, why should he get to do that to you because you live in his?
He likes nothing about you, your country, religion or culture. 
Before one can love someone isn't he supposed to like that person?  How can anyone claim to love you and not like you at all?
He wants you to get a job but gets upset should you send some money home or buy anything for yourself. 

If you can work in another country you probably worked in yours.  You might have earned less but you’d have it all.  Isn’t less better than nothing?
He screams at you for no reason.  It could mean he’s looking for a fight so he can have a reason to get physical. 

Fight the urge to scream back.  Reply respectfully but firmly.  A calm intelligent reply raises the level of the conversation.
Innocent until proven guilty
Foul play until proven natural cause

   If he is keeping you but shows no love ask yourself what’s his agenda? 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

A Filipina Deals with California Drought

   Water is one of God’s gifts to man.  Just think of the pleasure it gives when it runs down your body during a bath or the satisfaction you feel as it goes down your throat after a meal.  The excess water that goes down the drain pleases no one.  Wasting water is not only senseless, conserving it is now mandatory in California with a $500 fine due to the current drought. 

   To deal with the new world drought Sheila went back to the old world ways she learned from the Philippines, a country which ironically drowns in flood water every year.

  •    Water the plants with very little water since the roots are just below the surface there’s no need to soak all “six feet under”.  Water the garden at sundown to keep the sun from drying the ground giving osmosis time to process.

  •    This is an old trick practiced in the Philippines where there is no car wash.  (People with cars usually have live in maids and/or drivers to clean the cars.)  Wash the car with a sponge and a bucket of water mixed with a small amount of basic shampoo (no conditioner or any other feature).  This won’t need much rinsing as compared to using harsh soap or detergent which actually contribute to rusting metal.  It also helps to keep the paint shinny just as shampoo is advertised to give shinny hair.

  •    Wash items with the faucet turned on a fourth of a full blast.  This cleans just as well.  It may take a second longer but a second of your time is worth it if it means saving 3/4th of water typically used.

   The above could be practiced long after the drought is over.  Since water seeks its own level if we do our little share in conserving water at our end maybe people won’t be swamped on the other end of this earth.  There is a chance we could actually be saving a life from flood drowning by balancing the water cycle back to the way God intended.  Sheila remembers her childhood in the Philippines when she played in the rain.  

   See also the following articles:

Monday, July 14, 2014

Parting with a Saturn Named Slick

   Three years after my divorce I moved to join my daughter in California.  I did not want to drive the distance from Kentucky because it would wear out my beloved Saturn.  I had Slick shipped at the cost of $1500.  When the shipping truck came to pick up Slick, I hugged Slick and said “I’ll see you in California.  Take care.”

   After two months in San Francisco I noticed Slick’s pain job looks tarnished.  I had been taking it to the drive through wash like I used to do in Kentucky.  I couldn’t figure out how to remove the blemish and where it was coming from.  Kentucky didn’t have the moist air of the Bay Area.  Finally she realized the fog of San Francisco toughens dust and it sticks to Slick.  Soap and water spray wasn’t going to fix it.  I quit going to the car wash and bought RainX Fast Wax.  I hand waxed Slick during the cold fall and winter moths of street parking.  It usually took 2 hours to do it well.  Slick looked shinny as new.  My new friends kept asking her what year model was it. 

   Then in the spring of 2014 the GM recall was announced over the 6 o’clock news.  The recall was overdue.  A number have died in fatal accidents before the defects were acknowledged by the car manufacturer.  Slick was included in the recall.  The news of the fatalities scared me but not enough to consider parting with Slick.  After the news about the recall broke out I received the recall letters telling me Slick would be fixed at no cost and that I would be notified as soon as parts are available. 

   Four months and four similar letters later I was still waiting.  The letters gave no promise of parts an any given time frame.  It could be any day or never.  I was starting to get worried.  Slick was aging and the defect could hit anytime without warning.  If I were to die alone with Slick that would be ‘romantic’.  Now that my daughter rides with me, a fatal accident is not acceptable.   

   I decided with a heavy heart to trade in Slick.  A friend recommended Melody Toyota in San Bruno.  I got a clean, shiny like new 2008 Toyota Matrix at a price I can afford.  I named it Trixie.

   Before I left Slick I gave it a long hug and whispered “Please forgive me.  This hurts me too.  I hope you understand,” and cried as I drove away.  A last look at Slick told me Slick understoodme.  Someday if I should ever have a garage and money to afford an extra car, I will find Slick through her Vin number and buy her back at whatever condition.  I have lost a lot in my life that can’t be bought back.  Slick won’t be one of them.