Monday, October 21, 2013

War of the Santos’


   As the old movie War of the Roses showed marriage could turn into a war.  When it does the casualties are unfortunately mostly children.  A similar story happened in the Philippines.    

   Ramon Santos was a catch.  He was a college graduate.  He cannot be called gorgeous but he’s not bad looking either.  He was a nice soft spoken religious man who loved children and who would seemingly twist himself into a box to get along with his wife Laura.  Actually he was a clinical sample of a Passive Aggressive character before the name of the condition reached the Philippines.

   Laura, on the other hand, was a strikingly good looking, above average intelligent housewife.  She would fight anyone over anything she felt strongly about and call it ‘assertiveness’.  Thus, the reign of the marriage has been put decidedly in her hands from the get go.  She was a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) before the name of the condition reached the Philippines.

   Now let’s see how those two conditions came into play to create the War of the Santos’.  

   When Ramon realized that his dream of having a working wife has been frustrated he started secretly dating a work associate while remaining the compliant husband at home.  This offense would not be overlooked by the hyperactive observant Laura. 

   When Ramon’s company sponsored a summer weekend beach outing he told Laura wives were not invited because his ‘office girl’ would be there.  Laura investigated and found out other wives were attending.  When Ramon came home from his fun weekend Laura was playing solitaire with cards.  He was running a fever and must have caught a virus in the remote beach resort.  He asked Laura to take him to a hospital.  She continued playing her game and said “You need to call the girl you were with to take you.”  

   Of course Ramon denied her allegation and begged sweetly further.  Laura let her loving husband ‘stew in his own juice’ until the fever has gotten to deathly temperature then she took him to the hospital dropped him at the counter and went home after telling him if he needed assistance he should call the girl he was with.
  
Bagoong
   When Ramon got better he cooked Laura her favorite dish ‘bagoong’ with lots of tomato then kept it without refrigeration for a few days to spoil then served it to Laura.  The salty taste of the dish disguised the rancidity.  Laura almost died from food poisoning that day.  Ramon did not take her to the hospital till Laura’s cousin who was present started screaming “Take her to the hospital!”

   By God’s intervention the couple failed to kill each other.  This marriage was ended by a US divorce.  Their children never saw it coming.


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