Monday, November 12, 2018

The Songs in A Star is Born Did It

   I wrote an article about my reaction to watching Lady Gaga’s version of A Star is Born.  I had seen Barbra Streisand’s version of the same movie in the 70’s.  That one didn’t make me cry.  I can’t figure out why Lady Gaga’s version got me holding my tears from the get go.  I was sobbing in my car on my way home.  “After I was all cried out, I sat and wondered why the movie moved me to tears.”

   For weeks I watched the soundtrack YouTube videos over and over.  I realized the lyrics of the songs triggered my crying fit.  Here’s why:

I'll Never Love Again

Wish I could, I could've said goodbye
I would've said what I wanted to
Maybe even cried for you
If I knew it would be the last time…

When we first met
I never thought that I would fall
I never thought that I'd find myself
Lying in your arms
And I want to pretend that it's not true
Oh baby, that you're gone
‘Cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning
And I’m not moving on




The character named Sugar in the book The Email Ordered Wife left me and his daughter without saying goodbye.  That morning was the last time we saw him.











My unexpected crying fit told me “I’m not moving on”
Always Remember Us This Way

You’re where I wanna go
The part of me that’s you will never die


Every time we say goodbye
Baby, it hurts



When you look at me
And the whole world fades
I'll always remember us this way





Sugar died in Dallas. I immigrated from the Philippines


That wasn’t the first time he left us but I didn’t think it would be the last.


When he looked at me, I literally didn’t see anything else.  I did not even my see my husband standing a foot in front of us.

 I'll Never Love Again 

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Monday, October 29, 2018

Jehovah’s Witnesses in Russia Similarity to Jews?

openyoureyespeoplebreakingnews.com
   As of September 14, 2018, Russian authorities’ attack on Jehovah’s Witnesses had placed 25 Witnesses in detention and 9 under house arrest, as “extremist”. In July, the first female Witness was placed in detention, setting a precedent beyond the holocaust.  If convicted, some of those who have been arrested face prison terms of up to ten years.

   Heavily armed police forcibly enter Witnesses’ homes, pointing guns at the heads of children and the elderly.  While the government search and confiscate valuable belongings reminiscent of Hitler’s treatment of Jews in WWII, this is where the similarities with the Jews end. 

   On Saturday, October 27, 2018, shooting at The Tree of Life Synagogue killed eleven people and a number of others were injured.  Paris darkened the Eiffel Tower to show solidarity.  In Boston, religious, political, and civic leaders offered support.  In Seattle, communities came together to support and stand in solidarity with the victims of the tragedy.







   Now, may I ask, where’s the support of countries for the Jehovah’s Witnesses being persecuted in Russia?  Where is the outrage at the injustice in Jehovah’s Witnesses being prosecuted for peaceful worship?  Where is the American governments sanction against the blatant human rights violations?  Where is the Amnesty International that fights for the release of subversives?  Im just saying...

   For this is what Jehovah of armies says, who after being glorified has sent me to the nations that were plundering you ‘Whoever touches you touches the pupil of my eye.” (Zechariah 2:8)

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Wednesday, October 24, 2018

A Star is Born Made Me Cry

By Source, Fair use,
   I don’t particularly fancy musicals but I saw Barbra Streisand’s version of A Star is Born in the 70’s.  I felt I owe it to myself to see Lady Gaga’s version.  It’s Rated R for alcohol and drug abuse, and very little physical violence.

   Jehovah’s Witnesses are discouraged from watching anything other than rated Rated G for General Audiences or Rated PG or Parental Guidance Suggested.  However, unless specified in the Bible, I let my conscience be the guide.  As an adult who has lived a hundred lives, I figured scenes with alcohol, drug abuse and physical violence isn’t going to move me.  After all, I grew up in Pasay City, Philippines, where as a child, I ran to the streets to watch brawls, I drank from my teens to my 30’s, until I became a Jehovah’s Witness.  Now, drug abuse was rampant in Pasay City, as anywhere else these days.  That I never touched.  Liquor kills the liver.  Drugs kill the brain cells.  There’s no transplant for brain.

   I went in the theater without a clue of how this movie will touch me.  Lady Gaga’s first song is a magnificent rendition of La Vie en rose.  I’ve seen her in YouTube.  I knew she’s good, but this performance stunned me to the verge of tears.  It’s not easy to make me cry, ask any of my ex-husbands.  The entire movie is superb!  Bradley Cooper is revealed like you have not seen him before!

   I watched the movie holding my tears until the credits rolled.  Then I let it out.  When the lights went on, I composed myself and walked out of the mall to the parking into my car.  As soon I got in, I was sobbing.  After I was all cried out, I sat and wondered why the movie moved me to tears.
  
   My father died in August, last year.  I haven’t cried for that.  I don’t know when and if it’s going to come.  I lost an ex-husband to addiction in 2009.  I have not cried over that and probably never will.  I can show sympathy and anger openly, readily sometimes instantly.  I have lost a lot of people in my life, but love and grief seems to be buried so deep in my core.  They come to the surface, as once in a while it does, then I can no longer tell for whom.

   “mere man sees what appears to the eyes, but Jehovah sees into the heart.”  (1 Samuel 16:7)

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Sunday, October 21, 2018

The Importance of Education to Filipinos

EB Scholars - photo by GMA 
   Eat Bulaga, a noon time television show in the Philippines, launched in 2009, “Eat, Bulaga! Excellent Student Awards or EBest Awards”, a scholarship aimed to help less fortunate elementary and high school students from different regions to continue on to their secondary and tertiary education.  The program provided full scholarship, monthly allowances and cash assistance.

   One of the students awarded worked in building construction so he can finish high school.  It is not legal to hire child labor, worst of all, in construction.  That boy graduated with honors and moved forward to a college education courtesy of Eat Bulaga.

   Another student walked kilometers to get to school each day.  Another one did home work by candlelight.  At least one worked as a housemaid to finance her high school education.  These are students who accumulated medals and awards for academic excellence despite the poor living condition and no clear hope of getting to college.

   The scholars of Eat Bulaga, have earned their top grades without the best of school supplies, without owning a computer and not enough books but they make do by using the public library or borrowing books from better situated classmates.  They managed their time between house chores, earning a living and school work.

   In America, students are given cash incentives to finish high school.  Otherwise they can get a GED, the General Educational Development tests when passed, provide certification of high school-level academic skills.  Then, they can get a college loan, if they qualify, and pay the loan for decades after graduation.
  
President Duterte
   Meanwhile, in the third world, a most maligned president, President Rodrigo Duterte, signed into a law in August 3, 2017, a bill granting free tuition and other fees for students in state universities and colleges, as well as local universities and colleges and technical-vocational institutions.  “The president believed the benefits of the law outweighed the potential short-term budgetary challenges.. (www.reuters.com)

   President Duterte's free college tuition investment will earn the country a return in all sorts of currencies.  In 2013, an estimated 10.2 million people of Filipinos worked abroad.  It is one of the largest number of migrant workers, scattered over 100 countries.  They are called Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW).  Those workers will remit their pay back to the Philippines by official and unofficial, including illegal channels.  In 2011, remittances reached US$20.117 billion.  Imagine what the numbers will be in four years or so, when all the current college students graduate and join the OFWs.  Another positive effect of migrant workers is they bring home skills gained abroad and pave the way for the coming generations of Filipinos. 

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Sunday, October 14, 2018

Dysmorphia

   Dysmorphia is a word seldom heard or read.  It’s a character disorder that obsessively perceive severe flaws in one’s own face, body or general appearance.  This warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix the flaw.  Exceptional measures range from over the counter cosmetic to cosmetic surgery.  It usually starts during adolescence when both boys and girls are preoccupied with their looks.  

   Even if factual, the significance of the flaw may be severely exaggerated.  The nose for example differ according to race although it serves the same purpose for all.  It could either be too flat, too big, or too small.  Rhinoplasty is the first and most elected cosmetic surgery for non-Caucasians.  Who made the Caucasian nose the standard of perfection?  The world can’t remember.

   We all believe mirrors can’t lie, so we believe what we see.  The sad thing is that flaw could be imagined.  A dysmorphic person might actually be good looking but see ugly when in front of the mirror.  At the very least, the person sees a different face in the mirror from what other people see.  The dysmorphic view is so distorted that compliments don’t help.  It sounds like that nobody else is telling the truth about it.

   When I attended a photography training with Kodak, Philippines, it was said that cameras don’t lie.  So, I thought, just like a mirror.  Then, people found discrepancy between the photo and the mirror image.  The word photogenic was invented.  It meant that faces not generally pretty or may be even unattractive when photographed can produce an attractive image. 

   In one of our conversations, my daughter called me “dysmorphic”.  I never heard the word before.  I had to look it up.  I looked at my photos, then looked in the mirror.  That settled it, I’m photogenic.  My daughter loves to play psychiatrist.  She said no one could convince me that I look good.

   I remembered Reb, the hero in REBEL, in a conversation with his comrades, said about me, in my presence, “She doesn’t know she’s beautiful.”  He said it not like flattery, but like an observation.

   Ten years later, I met the love of my life.  He once said to me “Do you know, you’re foxy?”

   “Oh, I look like a fox?” I made a pun about his compliment.  

   When I got home that night, I looked at myself in the mirror.  I didn’t see foxy, didn’t see beautiful either.  

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Monday, October 1, 2018

Fighting the Signs of Aging

   In the Philippines, it’s easy to cheat on one’s age.  Trust me, I applied for a job as twenty five when I was nineteen.  Then, decades later I got a job as 36 years old when I was 46.  I’m a workaholic and planned on working till I’m 80+.  I won’t mind dropping dead in my workstation.

   In my late twenties, I read in a women’s magazine an article about the signs of aging and that it could be prevented.  Aging cannot be prevented.  It’s the nature of all beings, men or animals but the signs that makes aging noticeable can be put off.  I bought the idea because I knew that employers worldwide discriminate against the aged.  If I looked 35 at 80 I will be hired.  If I looked 60 at 40 I will have a hard time getting a job.  

Here are the body parts that show aging.

My veneers at 66 years old
1. Teeth – brushing, flossing, dental cleaning are not enough.  Gums recede with age.  Receding gums will make the teeth recede with it so that they look smaller than they were some decades back.  Dental porcelain veneers or dental laminates are called ‘jacket’ in the Philippines.  They are custom-made to cover the surface of teeth not only to improve appearance but also to protect the natural teeth from bacteria that form cavities. These are bonded to the teeth to maintain color, improve shape, size, or length.  In my case I had it made longer than my natural teeth so that should the gum recede they will still look the same previous size.  Veneer is expensive but I figured I work, I am the means of production.  I deserve to be maintained.  I invested in myself.

My neck at 66 years old
2. Neck – the face and the rest of the body can be hidden or enhanced with makeup and clothes.  The neck, however, will be hard to hide, unless you’re a Catholic nun.  Thus, it needs continuous, dutiful care.  It has been said, heard and maybe believed or not that inadvertent pulling the skin down will create wrinkles.  So, since I read that article, to this day, I apply cosmetics going towards the side instead of up and down.  And here’s the result.  Does that neck look 66 years old to you?  A mere 4 years to 70?!

3. Eye lids – eye lids have a tendency to droop with age.  There’s no way to go around it.  I had monolid eyes.  When I developed eye bags in my 40’s I went to a plastic surgeon to remove the eye bags.  He suggested that I have the lids folded surgically as well.  He said that the lids will droop as I age so if I get it folded I may get away with it. 


My eyelids at 66 years old
   So here’s my folded eyelids, instead of drooping down the aging skin goes inside the fold.  And putting on eye makeup got easier.  Eye liners hide under the monolid.  Ask any Asian.

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Friday, September 7, 2018

Souvenirs of the Third Man

Daughter with Star Trek stars
   At fifty years old, the big 50, the middle age, I was hit by midlife crisis.  Twice married with no guy to show for it.  My three children have all finished college.  My sons were happily married and my daughter was a happy Trekkie, a Star Trek follower.  It occurred to me that I was no longer needed as a mother.  I prayed and asked Jehovah God that he allows me one last stab at marriage.

   No one in my circle caught my interest.  Where do I find the lucky third?  I went to an internet dating site, opened an account highlighting my employment history to show financial promise.  I posted my best looking photos and discounted 10 years from my real age.  I received responses from single men about my age from the US, England and one Australian geologist working in Saudi Arabia.

   The geologist appealed to me but he had a wife in Australia.  Then I found a man from Kentucky who was exactly my type, facial hair and a police record.  Here are souvenirs of my years in Kentucky:



The heating pad he bought for me.  It warms the bed before we get in because the bed was always cold despite the centralized heating. 



The winter boots he bought me that I still wear once in a while, to this day, after twelve years.



A pair of diamond earrings I bought from the $150 he gave me on a Valentine’s Day.  I kept telling him I don’t celebrate those occasions because of my being Jehovah’s Witness.  Each time he insisted I buy myself something and show him what I bought.


   We traveled to these places:



Hong Kong


Bangkok, Thailand,


Tennessee

Tagaytay, Philippines



   September 9, is the anniversary of that third wedding.   That marriage went south too.  I have no regrets.  I gave it my best but as the song says “sometimes love just ain’t enough”.  



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Friday, August 31, 2018

Mission Impossible – Fallout’s Analogy to REBEL

From: cinemark.com
   Field service, which I did every Wednesday was cancelled.  I went to see Mission Impossible – Fallout for want of a better thing to do.  I had seen the trailers on television which showed car chases.  I now call it the “mother of all chases”.  This might sound like a spoiler, however, it has been showing for weeks.  In fact, at midday, midweek, the theater was almost empty.

   I did not expect the movie opening to remind me of Reb, the real life person on whom the main character of the book REBEL was based.  The movie opened with Tom Cruise waking up to someone ringing his doorbell.  The first thing he did was grab his gun off the pillow next to him.  Reb used to keep his caliber 45 under his pillow or mattress or under his folded jacket where he laid his head when he didn’t have any bedding at all.  In those days, student activists actually experienced sleeping on old newspapers laid on concrete floor of the “safe house” called “HQ”, short for headquarters.  They thought it was fun, like indoor camping.

   Tom Cruise arose to answer his doorbell.  A man was delivering a packet in an envelope.  An exchange of weird dialogues between Tom Cruise and the delivery man ensued.  The audience was supposed to assume the conversation was a sort  of password to identify each other.
  
   Reb, also created a password to be used between him and his comrade/wife.  He instructed her to never repeat the password to anyone else.  Their password was to be kept a secret from all to be effectual.
  
   The declaration of Martial Law in the Philippines dispersed the student activists from Manila.  Many were arrested, or were killed or were never heard from again.  Many went back to college to “peacefully” finish their course.  Reb was one of those who went to the “hills” to continue the struggle in the provinces following Communist China’s strategy.

   “Marx and Lenin never mentioned the encirclement of the cities from the countryside - a strategic principle that had not been formulated anywhere in the world … Comrade Mao Zedong pointed it out as the specific road for the revolution in China's concrete condition”.(spartacus-educational.com)

   The Philippines “concrete conditions” drifted Reb and his wife apart.  Fast forward to 2010, his wife received an email purportedly from Reb.  The email was asking for balikbayan packages” from the US to the Philippines.  She replied to the email asking for the password.  The email sender replied with one word missing.  She declined to further that communication.  She found out five years later Reb had died before the emails happened.  The email was a scam.  Reb's password, even in death, served them well.  Now that Reb is gone, the secrecy of the password has lost its meaning.  Here’s Reb’s password:

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Grand Jury Report in Pennsylvania

  Boston Globe’s Spotlight on Crimes Against Children was posted on this blog on August 7, 2016.  Two years later, almost to the date, the Grand Jury report in Pennsylvania was released.  Here's the original Boston Globe’s Spotlight on Crimes Against Children  with a postscript of new developments:

   In 1981, Donald Roemer pleaded guilty to child molestation in Los Angeles.  In 1985, Gilbert Gauthe, was convicted of similar offences against 11 boys.  Those two were priests, but the abuse was seen as isolated incidents. There was no consistent pattern of a cover up.  The priests were simply moved to a different location without informing the authorities. (www.theguardian.com)

   In 1994, Jacob Wetterling Crimes Against Children and Sexually Violent Offender Registration Act was enacted as a part of the Omnibus Crime Bill as guidelines for states to track sex offenders.  Did priests got on this sex offenders registry? (ojp.gov/smart/legislation.htm)

The story behind the 'Spotlight' movie
   In January 2002, Boston Globe came out with the first of the 800 articles on the scandal involving 150 priests, in Boston alone, accused of sexual abuse on more than 500 victims that filed abuse claims.  The church-goers’ donations slumped by 50%.  That means the other 50% either agreed or didn’t care about the sexual abuse of children. 
(www.theguardian.com)

   As a result of the Boston Globe articles, on Monday, 8 July, 2002, six months later, the Catholic Church apologized for sex abuse committed in the Philippines.  

   “According to the president of the Catholic Bishops Conference, Archbishop Orlando Quevedo, about 200 of the country's 7,000 priests may have committed “sexual misconduct” - including child abuse, homosexuality and affairs - over the past two decades.” (BBC News)  That means going all the way back to 1982.  How many were the victims of the 200 priests?  Surely there wasn’t just one each, assuming the twenty years is accurate.

   The Vatican heard of the sex abuse allegations concerning about 3,000 priests dating back up to 50 years, according to Monsignor Charles J Scicluna, the Vatican's Promoter of Justice that investigates the complaints. 

   “The founder of a religious order that treats Roman Catholic priests who molest children concluded in the 1950s that offenders were unlikely to change and should not be returned to ministry, according to his letters, which were obtained by plaintiffs' lawyers… In a 1957 letter to Bishop Matthew Brady of Manchester, N.H., Fitzgerald wrote that abusive priests only pretended to repent and change “to be again in a position where they can continue their wonted activity”… The New Mexico treatment center closed in the 1990s in the face of lawsuits over priests who molested children while staying or after being treated there.  That means the priests still got access to children during and after the so called treatment.

   After the Boston Globe's investigative journalism that earned the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for Public Service, the can still has not given out all its worms.

Postscript, August 18, 2018

   I typically don't date my postscripts but this one tells me more are coming.  I am reposting this article in the light of the recent Grand Jury report in Pennsylvania.  Below is the MSNBC news.

   "Really, then, by their fruits you will recognize those men.  “Not everyone saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the Kingdom of the heavens, but only the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will.  Many will say to me in that day: ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and expel demons in your name, and perform many powerful works in your name?’ And then I will declare to them: ‘I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’" (Matthew 7:20-22)

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